Ghetto Fabulous (skinny) Mocha Latte

I recently nixed my Coffee Mate Fat Free French Vanilla Creamer from my diet because it had 50 calories per 4 tsp (TEASPOON!!!!!!!) serving. That's whack.

Anyway, so I started using a combination of Splenda mixed with a little bit of dry non-fat milk. This does the trick and is yummy! HOWEVER I just stumbled upon a delicious mix for a ghetto fabulous mocha latte, starbucks style!

One packet of sugar free hot cocoa mix
non-fat dry milk
coffee

Stir.

YUM!

Enjoy and You're Welcome.

They're Here!

The 6 pairs of shoes I bought have arrived at my local, neighborhood Payless Shoe Source location. I get to go pick them up tonight, they are going to LOVE living with me!

There isn't a whole lot of new Natasha Fabulousness to report on. I had a wonderful Valentine's day with Liz, though some yahoo named Jack and his over-medicated friend Jimmy tried to crash it. It's a long story. And by that I mean I don't ever want to re-tell it.

I had a lovely weekend, lots of friends, babies and alcohol. Not always at the same time. Side note: All of Shannan's triplets are MOBILE NOW!!!! Happy belated 9 month birthday to you, Scarlett, Simon & Gavin!

OH! I almost forgot. There is a HOT new hot yoga teacher. Sweet Sweat of all that is good and Holy, his body is rockin! I've never had the pleasure of being that sweaty and gross and that close to naked with someone THAT hot. He could, potentially, get me to do anything he wanted if he's not careful. OR if he IS careful, depending on how you look at it.

Oh, and I'm still single. Anyone want to fix that? ::coughcoughMegan::

Meeting Afentra was the BEST part.

If I'm not listening to NPR, I'm listening to 96.5 The Buzz and while I like the afternoon guy... I LOVE AFENTRA, the morning personality (and coincidentally, the afternoon guy's wife). I've loved Afentra since she first showed up in KC around 10 years ago. This rough-around-the-edges Greek was my kind of girl. She's bossy, vulgar & entirely politically incorrect. Love.

I've wanted to be her friend for a long time. Image my opportunistic elation when I found out a friend/acquaintance of mine knows her! This could be my way in (Sarah - this should in no way reflect negatively on my genuine fondness of you... regardless of your Afentra Status), finally after years of dreaming and hoping from afar, I have an inside man.

Fast forward to Friday night. "Afentra's VD Party" is her annual (free) Valentines day concert and Liz and I went. First thing first: Major sausage-fest. CHA-CHING! But, that's not even the best part. Liz and I find our corner and start on our beers (Actually, "continue" rather than "start" since we started at my apartment and had a nice buzz even before we got downtown. Don't worry mom, we took a taxi). The concert was held at the Historic Midland theater, and it is a fucking beaut. There were so many works of art and pretty rooms and fixtures to look at, but that's not even the best part.

The concert was getting close to over and I hear HER voice. I knew she was close, so I scanned the crowd looking for my Greek Goddess. When my eyes fell on her, I knew that the wait had been worth it. She is beautiful and looks like she would have no problem kicking my ass.

I wish I could remember everything that happened!!!!!!!

What I DO remember is going up to her and demanding her attention. I started in on my undying love for her and how much I want to be her friend and I couldn't shut up. I wanted to shut up, I knew that I should have probably stopped talking right after I said "HI!" but NOOOOOOOOO I kept going on and on about I don't even remember what. Towards the end I think I was just shouting random words like "Half-Iranian!!!" and "Blog!" The poor dear was trying to get away but I had PHYSICALLY LATCHED myself to her arm and wouldn't let go.

I would be upset, but this was the best part of the entire evening. And that's saying something since the evening didn't end until 4AM. Liz and I broke lots of hearts, met lots of cool chicks (A shout out to Linda & her sister and Bobbi the Flapper!) and accidentally came into possession of some guys anxiety prescription. But, that part wasn't our fault.

Oh, and Sarah - I am SO sorry but I told Afentra that you know me.

I'm BaaAAck...

I laugh in the face of any illness that tries to keep me down! However, most of you can attest to how disgustingly pathetic I am when I am sick - I champion above the germs and show them who is boss (after about 5 days...).

So, yeah, that was no fun. But it's over, for the most part, just in time for me to enjoy my most hated holiday ever. Lately, I've told a lot of things that they can suck it and I truly, truly mean it when I advise V-day to do so. This year, V-day, the joke is on YOU. That's right. I have a date.

Don't sound so shocked, V-day, you knew that sooner or later this girl would get a date, right? My date is tall & beautiful with dark hair and knows me inside and out. My date knows how to make me laugh and can comfort me, regardless of my mood. My date has seen me through some hard times, but has also been there to share in my many joys. My date is a girl.

No, I haven't turned Lesbo (regardless of that super-fly sweatshirt I am now in possession of), Liz and I have just decided that we are not going to let our single girl status prevent us from having a fabulous time out on the town. Besides, I've already promised myself to Jennie if I ever decide (or am forced) to switch teams.

Liz and I are basically dating, anyway, so it was only fitting that we are each other's valentines. And I do have to say that this is the first V-day I've been looking forward to in to a looong time. Not only do I know that I am going to have a lovely evening out with someone I love, I don't have to shave!

Fever

My fever finally broker earlier this afternoon. I'm not sure how high it got up to, but once I got my hands on a thermometer (Jennie's forearm wasn't too reliable and it didn't have a digital read out), it said my temp was 101.3F. I'm currently hovering in the 99's.

Dude, seriously, Immune System?! WTF?!? Why do I even bother having you around when you don't even show up and do your job? We are in some hard economic times right now and I'm pretty sure that I could replace you in an instant with someone that would want to show up to work every day and actually WORK. Seriously, what do you do?

Ok, I'm going to go back to watching seasons 1 ans 2 of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. I am nursing a baby crush on Mac, anyone know his real name?

MMMTacos.....

I have conviction in the fact that I am a very blessed person. First off – there’s the hair. Second: my wonderful family and friends. Thirdly, I get to see Mike Hosty tonight (with a gaggle of the aforementioned friends)!

Enveloped in the second blessing are all the wonderful acts and gestures my friends and family do for me. Their friendship and love would be enough for any mere mortal, but, they always go above and beyond, because they are the shit.

The Shan Man totally outdid himself today. This morning he ambushed me with what I shall call, in complete earnestness, one of the best gifts ever given to me. And I’ve gotten some pretty pimp gifts in my day. I mean, Jennie, Jon & Becky gave me coasters with pictures of their FACES on them! And I’ve mentioned before that Amy’s gift of a pocket mirror with my nickname, “Natty Lite,” engraved on it is one of the fanciest things I own.

But this, this is awesome on a different level. This is awesome because, while he’s a cool cat, Shannon and I don’t see eye to eye all of the time… but we do see eye to eye on poop jokes and inappropriate behavior. And that’s all you need in my book. Who needs to agree on politics and religion when what is really important is a well placed fart in a conversation, to which you are the master and I just try to be worthy of your lessons.

Shan Man – thanks again for my super sweatshirt. It effing rocks.

The Puffy Taco restaurant was a Mexican Restaurant in North KC. I, unfortunately, never had the opportunity to go there and check out their menu. Shannon assures me that as far as food goes, I wasn't missing much and that it wasn't that good. I can only assume it was because it all tasted like vagina.

Monkey Paw

Last Friday there was "Battle of the Rock Bands" at my work. Those who know me know that I detest video games in almost every manifestation, so Rock Band isn't really my cup of tea. BUT, being a groupie totally is. My obvious loyalty fell to Tam Tam and her band, Monkey Paw.

They rocked out (with their MMMMHMMMM's out) to Epic by Faith No More, and while they didn't come in first, they're still number 1 in some one's heart.....

That's right. I made signs. 3, to be exact. The others said "I "heart" Tammy" and "Respect the [hand drawn sketch of monkey paw]." The "Marry Me Monkey Paw" sign garnished the most laughs as no one seemed to be able to tell the sketch was of a Monkey Paw. Most every one thought it was a tail and one guy thought it was a tornado. They, obviously, can't recognize great artistic interpretations. Weak.

But on a different note, WTF kind of face am I making in that picture?

Thank You Kansas City!

I've said it countless times; I friggin LOVE KANSAS CITY. This morning is a perfect example as to why. I was invited to read my Facebook List "25 Random Facts About Me" on our local, commercial-free, listener supported radio station, KKFI 90.1FM. A dear friend of mine, Mark Manning, is the host and producer of the Wednesday Midday Medley show. To incorporate listeners into their winter Fund Driver, he solicited 6 listeners, who had written the "25" list to come in and read it on air.

It was awesome. I met a few KC personalities that I've adored from afar (Maria Vasquez Boyd & Jim the Blind Guy) and I got to be on the Radio. I was sandwiched by 2 artists I like a lot, Neko Case & Regina Spektor... AND I got to talk about ME! Only a rainbow pooping unicorn could have made the experience better.

For those who haven't read my list yet, or for those who want to read it again (who doesn't?), I give you 25 Random Facts About Me...

1. I've lost 91 pounds and I'm going to lose 47* more.

2. I blog.

3. I've changed jobs 3 times in 18 months, but feel I've finally found my niche.

4. I LOVE to sing and dance, but do both so very badly that I only perform in my kitchen.

5. I love the neighborhood I live in and don't ever want to leave. WHAT UP WEST 39TH STREET!

6. Until very recently, I always felt very awkward in my own skin (and hair). But I think I've finally come to terms with that and can proudly parade my Sideshow Bob Hair around town.

7. Growing up, my family did a lot of weird Iranian sh!t. It. Was. Awesome. Just envision the beginning sequence to "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," but then insert me, awkward, fat w/ frizzy hair, and you'd have a pretty good start to understanding my childhood & adolescence.

8. My first car was an '88 Dodge Caravan. My dad gave me that because, and I quote, "they don't make chastity belts anymore..." Thanks Dad.

9. Fish, unless dead, scare the living daylights out of me. ::shudder::

10. I love making lists. I can make lists every day. I have even made lists of all the lists I need to make.

11. I have been married. I do not regret being married or getting divorced, I firmly believe that I needed to experience those years, everything about them. Though the pain/hurt/confusion/whatever I caused to anyone & everyone involved was the hardest thing I've ever done. If that's you, then I want to sincerely apologize.

12. I lived without owning a TV for a year. ONE YEAR. Then I went and bought a brand new one last spring because "So You Can Think You Can Dance" was about to start and I wanted to watch it. I still don't have cable and have no plans to do so. I have rabbit ears on a $500 flat panel tv. It's kinda like pimping out a Chevy Cobalt.... but that's how I roll.

13. Elevators and Escalators frighten me.

14. I could eat 500 pounds of sushi, and still want more.

15. I am one of the founding members of the "Belles of 39th Street" gang.

16. I have two birthdays.

17. I've just recently found my "neat freak" trait and I love it.

18. I tried to be bulimic in the 7th grade. It didn't work.

19. I want to grow old and die in France.

20. I've had a fish hook in my nose. It hurt like a muther focker.

21. I've fallen through the floor of a car. Thankfully and obviously, it wasn't moving at the time. I was 2.

22. I'm learning to read Tarot Cards.

23. I pose "too hard" for pictures and always look awkward in them.

24. Included among my many awesome talents are whistling, crocheting, wrapping, listening and making you laugh.

25. I'm cute, single and, unfortunately for you, not looking to be in a relationship.

THANK YOU KANSAS CITY! I LOVE YOU, GOOD NIGHT!

*2 more pounds GONE!

New Hell on Earth

What do you get when you take 1 part Hot Yoga and 1 part Underwire from your sports bra that has broken through the seem and then proceeds to painfully stab your tit for over half the class.

Holymotherofgodinheaven. I felt like a Shish Kabob! But actually, it was more like a Shish KaBOOB!

Anyone willing to kiss my owie and make it all better?

Skull Face

This scarf was for my friend Steve. I'm not a skull and cross bones kind of girl, but I think this scarf is really fucking cool. It was fun to make something outside of my norm.