"525600 MINUTES!" or Apartment for Rent

I love my apartment. I also love my apartment building. I've befriended several of my neighbors and we have developed something akin to a "Friends" relationship with all of us moving about one another's apartment at any given time (and sharing food: baked goods, casseroles and anything else edible!). Without going into the specifics on who is who, we are still in need of a Joey and a Ross. This brings me to the "for rent" sign outside of our building.

The unit adjacent to mine is for rent. A couple lives there now and if it wasn't for the constant stench and fog of pot smoke emanating from their apartment, I'd have to surmise that their reclusivness is due to their serial homicidal tendencies. That isn't to say that I dislike them. In fact, they are VERY easy going. Which, I think is more of an "effect" rather than a personality trait. Regardless, I am both a little scared and a little excited at the prospect of a new neighbor.

As always, one wants their new neighbor to not bring any annoying habits, sounds or pets with them but at the same time expects this new neighbor to ACCEPT all of yours. This would make my perfect next door neighbor an attractive guy with mad cooking & baking skills that is also half deaf.

Half deaf because, while I don't know of any complaints against me, I would be willing to wager that I am a loud neighbor. I am pretty sure this is what happens in the unit below me every time I come home...

::jingle of keys, opens door drop purse, gym bag and other assorted luggage on floor::
Downstairs Neighbor: Well, Natasha is home. It sounds like she's been to the grocery store.
::rustling of plastic bags::
DSN: Sounds like lettuce and some bananas... maybe coffee.
::click click click click::
DSN: I wonder what she's doing in the kitchen?
::Clash, bang, crash::
DSN: She always drops her coffee thermos.
::muffled music::
DSN: She's been playing that Shin's album a lot lately. It's good, but can we get something new here?
::click click click click click click click click, [edited for content], FLUSH::
DSN: That's right, she had cabbage for dinner last night.