Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Cat got your tongue?

Sammy's missing a few teeth. My best guess is the he lost them when he was in his accident. He's able to eat OK, but every now and again I'll catch him with his tongue hanging out. It's my most favorite thing in the whole wide world. And now I will share them with you. Enjoy!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Two Things

1. If the local SunFresh has any sort of rewards program for returning stolen shopping carts, I need to find out. I passed no less than 3 on my bike ride through the neighborhood this evening. Or I guess the next time I walk to the grocery store, I can just try to find one and push it back? I'd be guaranteed a cart this way. Totally avoiding the awkward moment when you've walked thru the automatic doors to find no carts and you try to guesstimate if your weeks worth of groceries could fit in one of those carry-baskets.

2. Ok, I know that I need to drop this Reverend thing like a bad habit (pun intended), but... last Saturday at our "When I dip, You Dip, WE Dip" Dip party, Jennie Rea told me that a friend of hers was at Wes & Laura's wedding! Jenni was clicking through her friend's pictures and couldn't believe her eyes! "What a small world!!!" she exclaimed when she saw me and shared the story.

Then tonight we were practicing and Amber, my stand partner in Orchestra, told me a friend of hers was at the wedding and recognized me!

Either the world is getting smaller or my hair is getting bigger. I'm not sure.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011


I participated in the "Don't Tripp, it's Fashion" runway/design competition last weekend. I walked for designer Sharlene Henthorne. She is the fabulous lady behind Inner Hipper designs. And if you hear Hippie and automaticlaly think Tye Dye and afros, you'd be spot on. I mean, what else is there? besides hairy lady arm pits and patchouli?

Look how big my hair was you guys.

People would run into it backstage. I swear.

Blue Steel, baby.

The whole experience was exhausting and a whole lotta fun. Sharlene placed second in the design category. WAY TO GO SHARLENE!!!!!

I really like her stuff.

All the other girls got their hair curled, cripmed, teased and a few even got extensions. The stylist just brushed mine out. But then again, my hair is better than theirs.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Won't you be my neighbor?

When Wes & Laura moved last summer I was totally bummed. The three of us got on great. But I knew that no matter what, I would always have a friend in them. It didn't really hit me that they were gone until the new neighbors moved in.

When I moved into my new (current) place last fall I was falling asleep, my first night there, when my phone rang and it was Laura! She said that her and Wes were in the neighborhood and almost stopped by.... which would have been awkward seeing how I had just moved out of the old house.

Anyway, in honor of them I wanted to document my top 5 Wes & Laura moments.
In no particular order

1. Halloween 2009. I, dressed as Slash from Guns and Roses, (s)tumbled out of the back of an Ford Escort Station wagon... sloppy drunk. I couldn't find my keys, let alone my front door. It probably would have helped if I had taken off my aviators, but that would have just taken away from the entire look. My friends were about to get out of the car to help me when Laura comes down from her Porch to help a sister out.

"Alright Slash, .... Here let me unlock your door for you." And the sweet creature that is Laura made sure I got safely inside.

2. Laura and I staying up until 4am once listening to music and just bonding. That was a great night.
3. Not too long after I had moved in, I came home one night and they were on their way out. "MY WATER BROKE!!!" Laura exclaimed!

4. Impromptu Porch Party. Wes, Laura and I - along with another Neighbor, Hot Van, were hanging out on their porch (have you guys noticed a theme here???) and Kristen, a friend who lives a few blocks away saw my hair from her Cab and had them stop.

5. I slide out of the taxi cab, W&L are on their porch. They offer me a drink, but I just want a water. I had left the Bar for a reason - I didn't need ANY more alcohol. Wes hands me a water and about 10 minutes later I make my way to the edge of their front lawn, right off the sidewalk. I straddle the pavement and bend over. They ask if I'm OK and I flash the universal sign of "I'm GREAT!" which is the rock fist while I release about 30 ounces of vodka & tonic into their front lawn.

"Oh man, I'm really sorry about that."

"No worries Rev. That was AWESOME."

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Reverend MHIBTY

Yesterday I had the honor to officiate the wedding of two people very dear to me. I met Wes & Laura a little more than 2 years ago. It was around the time of my first wedding and Wes instantly took to calling me by my Internet-Given title "Reverend."

We were next door neighbors. Many Friday and Saturday nights were spent maxing and relaxing on one another's porch. Before long a genuine affection formed and when they set a date for their wedding, The Good Reverend next door was on the short list of possible officiants.

I won out by default only. My competition for the job was his cousin, who is a Catholic Priest. Wes and Laura knew that they were not having a catholic wedding, and, in fact wanted it outside. The Good Father can only preform ceremonies in his church, while the Good Reverend can go ANYWHERE. Seriously. The second ceremony I performed took place in a bar.

Where? you ask.

Yes. A bar. It was the bar Brooke and Rob had their very first kiss. Brooke wanted a tiny ceremony. And with no fuss. So, after work on a Friday in January of 2010, 5 of us gathered in Whitney & Liz's apartment to do makeup and then walk the 2 blocks to the bar. We sang " We're going to Gilhouly's and we're gonna get married" on the way.

When we got there I had a quick chat with the Bride & Groom, and then we dove right in to the 3 minute ceremony in the back booth, right by the pool tables. I was more nervous than they were, for some reason my voice was shaky and almost cried no less than once. By the end we had caught the attention of most of the other patrons at the bar and the owner sent over a bottle of champagne. And since we were already at the reception hall, as it were, we dove right into the celebrating.

All the weddings I've officiant have been beautiful, meaningful and wonderful. Congratulations to ALL my happy couples, whether your wedding was yesterday... or 16 months ago!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Peanut Butter Chocolate? Good! Pie? Not so much...

So I grabbed a bag of semi-sweet chocolate morsels and dusted (dumped) them on top of the pies in the hope I could salvage them. I didn't spend close to $15 in ingredients and an hour of woman-power  NOT try to hock them off on some starving soul at. There had to be SOMEONE jonsing for an afternoon dessert.

A majority of the people I offered pie to gobbled it right up and, mostly, said really positive things like "YUM!" "Delicious" and "Not bad."

I couldn't help but feel that I was living the episode of Friends (as Rachel) the time Rachel made English Trifle for Thanksgiving. Y'know - with a layer of sauteed beef with onions sandwiched between her layers of lady fingers with jam? Everyone ate it in front of my face to be nice, but the second they left my cube they were hocking the mess of a pie into the closest trash bin, filing cabinet or recycle receptacle.

But I did end up having a piece. It really was not bad! The chocolate morsels saved it. This fiasco reminded me of the time my older sister was charged to make dessert one Saturday. She was about, eh, 14. Maybe? Company was coming over and she was to make a pudding pie. The crust was store bought and all she had to do was whip together the pudding, dump it into the crust, affix a mound of cool whip on top and stick that bad boy into the fridge  to set.

She set out and the 3rd thing she did was knock the pie crust off the counter, shattering the graham cracker crust into the individual crumbs that it was comprised of. Quick on her feet, she called around and found someone with a recipe for an easy pie crust (and one she had all the ingredients for). Soon she had the pudding and cool whip in there and her pie went into the fridge. Shortly there after, the friend called  with a very important detail. She forgot to tell tell my sister that she had to bake the crust. WHY this instruction never came up during the initial recipe giving, I'm not sure.

So she took the pie, pudding and all, and stuck it in the oven at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes. I don't think I need to describe to you what that did to the cool whip and pudding. I can tell, however, that my pies were definitely edible while her pie was not not.

Thanks sis for fucking up your pudding pie 18 years ago so that I could feel better about my tofu one today. Can't wait to see you. TWO WEEKS!!!!!

Monday, June 6, 2011

NOT as easy as pie

I made a kick ass pie on Memorial Day. A peanut butter chocolate silken goddess of a pie. It took about 3 minutes to assemble and an hour to set in the fridge. It was glorious and everyone liked it at the BBQ.

High on Pie Success I told myself I'd make a double batch to bring into work. I wanted to share a treat with my team after our noon meeting. Who doesn't like chocolate peanut butter pie?

I can't pinpoint the exact moment, tonight, when it all started to go to shit, but I think one of the first things I did wrong was to add the melted chocolate to the blender first. By the time I finished adding the other ingredients, the chocolate was no longer smooth and a vision of delicious, but rather a bit more re-solid. When the blender failed to blend after a minute on "high" I knew something was terribly terribly wrong.

It also, probably, didn't help that I was making a double batch in a standard size blender. My measurement to check if a double batch would fit in my hand-me-down blender was "I think when I made it last week, it was about half way full.... soooo... yeah, a double should fit."


There is a third, fourth and, if I analyzed the whole catastrophe in depth enough, fifth reason why my pie wasn't easy as pie tonight. I was determined, though. I have two what-look-like-chocolate-peanut-butter pies setting in my fridge ready to share with my team tomorrow around noon time. For reasons I can't get into (because I'm too effing tired after battling the pie... and it's past my bed time) It tastes very little like chocolate and a lot like peanut butter. And tofu.

Oh yeah, it's a tofu pie. That's right a FUCKING SOY BEAN BY PRODUCT kicked my ass tonight. Fuck you tofu.

So my plan is to buy some Hershey's Chocolate syrup and drizzle it over the pie before I serve it. If no one on my teams eats it, I won't and can't blame them.

I'm sure the Developers will eat it.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Congrats Dad!

Little known fact. My parents are pool sharks.

Ok, not really. But they play billiards and from time to time their league does well and they advance to some tournament. This time they've hit the big time. My dad and his pool league will be headed to Las Vegas later this summer for the some National Tournament... thing.

Good Luck Dad! Even if you don't win, the important thing is to try your best and to be a good sport. Maybe after wards we can all go for ice cream?

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Excuse me!

Hey you guys. Remember me? I'm the one with really awesome hair?

Do you like my hooter?

Ok, so I think I'm ready to get fully back into this thing I call MHIBTY and it's pretty good timing because I just HAVE to share this with you.

So, my back/neck have been giving me grief for several days now and I made an appointment to see a massage therapist today. We were about, oh - I dunno - 20 minutes in when she went to get more lotion and the lotion container made THAT noise. I immediately giggled like a little school girl and felt a wave of relief that I wasn't the one in the room to "pass air." Or at least not the one to pass gas first. I can not be held accountable for any farting/snoring noises that may or may not have happened. There were 10 minutes where I fell asleep and I wasn't sure what bodily sounds I might have admitted. I was thankful, at least, that I was face down because my drool was pretty impressive/embarrassing.

This next weekend is going to be a busy one. I'm playing the role of Reverend on Saturday, then on Sunday I'm pretending to be a super model and will be walking down the runway for a local designer; Inner Hippie. Hopefully I will NOT trip walking down EITHER aisle.