Tuesday, November 30, 2010


The Orchestra performed at the KCK (that's Kansas City Kansas for those of you not in the know)Mayor's Christmas Tree Lighting the week before last. It was a great time for all, the kids enjoyed Santa and his workshop, Mrs. Claus was very merry and apparently there were amateur photographers there with too much time on their hands because someone snagged this shot:


and then submitted it to the the KCStar.com.


Monday, November 22, 2010

$1 Peas

Amy Bo Bamy is awesome for A LOT of reasons. She ran a half marathon with me (in fact, she made me sign up in the first place!), has fantastic fashion sense (she is the reason why I love belts and a cinched waist) and always knows a good poop joke. Like I said, she is pretty dope.

On top of all of those accolades, she works with an organization that puts on baby showers for army wives/moms-to-be: Operation Shower. I don't have time to tell you how wonderful and generous the people behind this organization are - but I do have time to ask you to donate ONE dollar to the group. In fact, I have so little time, I'm just going to copy and paste Amy's email to me here....

"Peas to go here. Text and donate $1. Ask all your friends to. Facebook it. Pass it on. Peas. If we raise $5000 via the texting the company will match it! It has to be by 12/2. Can you hep spread the word? Blog about it and be entered to win $100, too.


And enter for those SWEET prizes, dude. I wish I could."

The way she purposefully leaves out the "l"s on certain words make her too adorable to refuse.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Walk Much?

Every once in awhile I'm tragically reminded how NOT cool I am. These little reminders keep me in check and tell me that I will always lean towards the awkward end of the spectrum.

Saturday was late Autumn perfection. A crisp bite in the air, a blue sky and bright sun: a beautiful day. I had handed the FTC his ass earlier that morning and was high on the success of making baked goods. Close to 1:30ish, I headed to The Westport Flea Market for lunch with an orchestra-mate. I felt great and knew that I looked guuuuuuuuuuuuuddah.

The Westport Flea Market is a Kansas City Institution. Their burger is consistently named the best in KC (interestingly, no veggie burger? Veg Panini was still really good!) and in its Hay Day, the market boasted over 40 booths of flea market awesomeness. Even a serial killer, at one time, had a booth there! I had never been and when Holly, a clarinet player, found that out, she insisted we go have lunch there together.

So, I was walking to meet Holly, the sun shining on my face and my curls bouncing jovially under my beret. The boots I wore that day have negative traction and I didn't have the greatest of grip when all of sudden I felt my right leg slip out from under me. My left leg was planted firmly on the ground, so in essence I did the splits. Fortunately I caught myself mid-split. UNfortunately I had landed in the road. SO. I was half-split with my ass in the air and in oncoming traffic.

I bet I looked like a monkey or a weird crab when I hurriedly scuttled on all fours up the little slope that caused me to lose my footing in the first place.

I quickly stood and put on an act of investigating the ground - looking for the sidewalk monster that had come through the cracks and caused me to stumble. But I realized that I shouldn't even bother. That just made it worse in my mind - I felt that anyone that had just saw this was already having a great laugh, I didn't want them to then hoot '"Oh, and look!!! NOW she's trying to act like there was a crack in the sidewalk!!!!! What a riot!"

Thankfully the light changed right then and I got the hell out of there. I didn't run, but I was moving with a mission: distance myself from the scene of the accident and any witnesses. I wouldn't let myself believe that anyone had just tweeted "A chick just fell in the cross walk. LOL. Walk Much?"

That would have crushed my soul.

I got knocked down a peg, that's for sure. Or maybe I just got knocked back into place?

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

She Bakes!

To all of those that bore witness and sacrificed their taste buds to my French Toast Casserole last Sunday......... and also on my second attempt the following Thursday....... I apologize.

You see, I'm a pretty slow learner in the kitchen. Any recipe that is no bake, no fry, no saute - basically if is doesn't involve heat or fire I can almost guarantee I won't fudge it up too badly. But I'm not terribly comfortable in the kitchen. For starters there was a time I thought that kitchen appliances were just accessories - like big art installations in the room where I stored my left over take out.

I mean, it wasn't too long ago that grocery shopping or doing the dishes qualified as "prep work." These days my cabinets have a nice stash of the staples and most of my counter space is visible at all times. Progress has been made you guys. I'm more and more comfortable in the kitchen these days, though I still consider myself a novice, at best.

I learned MANY valuable lessons with the French Toast Casserole (the FTC, if you will...). Chief among them is to never debut a recipe at a brunch you host. Make sure you know what the fuck you're doing. OR have a backup dish at the ready. Either way. This way you know how much time to allot for baking and also what to expect from the dish itself. Is it suppose to be that color??? Should it be that runny in the middle?? And what's that smell???????

I took note of my mistakes made from my first two attempts, regrouped, and tried the FTC for Stef's Birthday this past Saturday. Stef has taught me a large majority of my cooking know-how. The differences in chopping vs cutting (dicing, slicing, etc...), flame management and basic tool instruction, I learned most of it working in her kitchen. When she broke her hand and I helped out in the kitchen, she was still WAY more efficient and productive than I was. WITH ONLY HER LEFT HAND.

I was determined. I was also inspired because Stef said if I can nail this recipe I have the basics DOWN for a great bread pudding. Who doesn't love bread pudding?

And who doesn't love learning for your mistakes?

I used a smaller dish, baked it for longer and (I think most importantly) I let it rise to room tempature after letting it sit overnight in the fridge. Oh, and I added blueberries and walnuts for good measure.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmm. It was good.

Photos courtesy of one fabulous Sabrina. AKA my personal photographer.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Another Winn(los)er

I want be more spontaneous. I want to be open to adventure, new places, people and ideas. I want to be up for anything (as long as it fits into my schedule and doesn't keep me up past my bedtime on a week night....)....

Whitney and I had dinner at Blue Koi (GO THERE if you haven't) and then wrapped up our lady friend date with cocktails. While waiting for our tab, a foursome that had been sitting next to us as the bar, made their way to the door. One of them struck up a friendly chat with me as if he and I went waaaaaay back. Since I can be smooth and charming on occasion, I played along. He was funny and clever, he thought I was funny which made him also not completely dumb.

He eventually asked if I'd meet him and his friends (2 more guys, 1 girl) at a bar across the street. I made no guarantees, I told him "Maybe." After he left, Whitney looked at me and said "You know I'm not going, right?"

She asked why I had agreed (she sooooo saw through my "maybe"). Why not? I ask. The worst that could happen is that it would be stupid and awkward, just another bad date. At best, there would be a spark. And regardless of the outcome, NOT being afraid of doing something spontaneous and unplanned was reward enough for me.

So, Whitney and I wrapped up our night, she waved "good bye and be safe" as she headed down the street to her apartment. Even under the cover of dive bar darkness, I spotted them right away. Where were my expectations? A Free Drink.

I sat down and introduced myself to:

The Guy.
The Married Lawyer Friend.
The Friend from Columbia.
The Friend from Columbia's Girlfriend.

Pitchers of beer were ordered and I chatted everyone up. The conversation was as witty and intelligent as earlier but something was "off." The Guy and I talked a bit, I could tell he was well past tipsy. The group happen to be waiting for additional friends to show up and then the partying "would REALLY begin" The Guy tells me and invites me along.

I continue to work on my beer so that I can politely, as possible, exit stage left. I applauded my courage and spontaneity, but my gut told me this guy was NOT a catch. The Guy and The Married Lawyer Friend disappear into a corner for a minute and I make conversation with the Jewish Olive Oyle looking girlfriend.

The Guy returns, takes his seat and my hand. "I need to tell you something."

"Go for it." I am completely clueless where he's headed.

"I'm married."

I glance down at his hands. No ring. I'm not surprised because I had already assessed the ring situation at the first bar, he had no ring then why would he have a ring on now?

"Are you kidding?" I asked.

"Nope. I'm married."

"Ok then, well, It was nice meeting you..." I grabbed my purse.

He stops me. "Oh, do you have a problem with that?"

"Did you just ask me if I have a problem with you being married?"

"Yeah... y'know, we can just talk."

I couldn't believe this guy. The nerve, the gall. I found him comical and sad at the same time. "Are you dense or just delusional?"

"Hahaha" douche-bag-head-toss-back "probably a little of both!"

"Well, I think they have a pill for that."

And I walked out the door.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Aunt Natty Lite

Have you ever gone pee, wiped and then as you pull up your pants you realize that you had some piddle on your hand, which just transferred to your thigh and then consequently - immediately to the inside of your pants?

Yeah, me neither.

ANYWAY. I have 2 very good reasons why I'm still not providing you with hilarious, witty and brilliant posts several times a week BESIDE the fact that I am none of those things. I signed up to participate in NaNoWriMo and my sister was in town this week! And don't feel bad you guy, I've been ignoring NaNoWriMo too.

My Sister, her husband and my new nephew were all in town visiting this week. I officially became an aunt earlier this summer and have to say I totally dig the role. BONUS that I'll never be drafted for baby sitting duty since they live in North Carolina. "The Nef" is appropriately adorable. He puked and spit up just enough to remind me, though, that being adorable sometimes, just isn't enough. Something that I should have learned by now about boys in general, but it's a good reminder about babies too.

I love you and good job on making a cutie patootie baby.

Monday, November 8, 2010

This one is for realz...

Today is my happy, happy birfday. My actual one.

I celebrated yesterday with my lovely lady friends. Megan, Brooke, Sabrina, Stef, Whitney, Carey, Jennie and Becky (and Liz in spirit): thank you for spending your Sunday afternoon with me. I am so sorry that my French Toast Casserole turned out soggy in the middle. I love you ALL and am so thankful to have funny, amazing, generous friends.

Also, thank you for helping me get rid of some of my shit.

In a stroke of pure brilliance, I decided to make a "reverse birthday gift" table and put out all the items that have been slowly accumulating in my give-away bin. There was a little confusion when people confused the reverse birthday gift table with the table everyone put their purses and jackets, but it all got sorted out.

Brunch was tasty, thanks again!

Oh, and Wal-mart.... I haven't even eaten all the Halloween candy I stole from the children, so please take down your Christmas display.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Scared-y Cat

Sammy Davis, Jr. One cool mutha fucker. We take out his glass eye for bed time.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Flat Tire.... Continued

In case you forgot how I got here... I had a flat tire and while simultaneously changing my tire (no, not a euphemism), the very young looking but still decidedly cute Roadside Assistance guy, Adam, was subtly trying to figure out if I had a boyfriend.

After telling him I didn't have a boyfriend to call for help he asked me why I didn't, then, call my husband because "there is no way some one as cute as you doesn't have a boyfriend or something." Actually, Adam, there IS a way but awww schucks, thanks.

I thought the sentiment was sweet enough, though, and after more flirtatious banter, he asked for my number.

"That is" he said "if I'm old enough."

He looked younger than me, that much I knew and in my head I was pegging him for 22.

"I'm 19."

That's well beyond legal in the state of Kansas.

"How old are you?"

You guys, NEVER have I felt old before. Never, ever... until I said "27." I know that I am NOT old but right then and there, as I was trying to shape up the 19 year old hitting on me, did I feel like I was on AARP's doorstep. HOWEVER, since age is only a number and there weren't any other cute guys changing my tire, I gave him my number. I also figured that his young age gave him less of a chance for being married, having kids or both (a surprising trend I ran into this summer; married men hitting on me). Plus he assured me that he was real mature for a 19 year old.

After parting ways, Matt and Megan's birthday dinner had been missed. I wasn't too disappointed since they where headed to one of those all-you-can-eat Brazilian Meat Buffets, which sounds like the start to a very bad joke... "a vegetarian walks into an all-you-can-eat meat buffet and..." Regardless, I had wanted to celebrate my friends' birthdays with them. (Side story: So, Matt and Megan have THE SAME birthday, which is why they always celebrate it together. Megan often tells people that one of the things the both of them bonded over when they met AGES ago was the fact they shared a birthday. Anyway, last fall at Liz's Going Away party, we were all pretty lit but apparently Megan was ON FIRE because a small group of us were talking about birthdays and Megan turns to Matt and, in complete earnest, asks "When is your birthday???" Obviously we haven't let her live that one down. But I digress....)

So.... yadda yadda yadda... we exchanged numbers, we texted, we chatted and then came date night. He told me to pick the restaurant, so I had him pick between Italian, Mexican or Mediterranean. He picked Italian so I told him to meet me at Cupini's. When we meet up and he cases the place (unfortunately they are closed on Mondays and I didn't realize it! My bad...) he says "Oh, I didn't know this was a whole in the wall place, I was expecting something like The Olive Garden."

"Uh." I didn't know how to respond. After doing the quick calculation of subtracting 23,987 points from his "Cool Account" I told him I try to support the local economy by eating at family owned restaurants.

I told him we'd go for Mexican instead so we headed to Rudy's which was 2 blocks away. I didn't tell him that it wasn't On The Border.

Adam... poor sweet.....young... Adam spent dinner talking about UFC Fighting (Minus 5,000 point) and the Twilight books (minus 1 BILLION points). Yup. Twilight. I was polite enough and didn't ralph all over him when he wouldn't shut up about them, but I eventually had to let him know that NEITHER were my cup of tea. To that he responded "Oh, that's ok. I'll get you to like them."

How quaint.

When the check came and I offered to chip in, he refused and then said, after glancing at the total "especially since you're a cheap date." (I had stopped keeping track of points a LOOOONG time before this).

I knew it wasn't all his fault, a lot had to do with his inexperience (and the fact that he was 19) and I'm not completely heartless, so when he asked if there'd be a second date - I couldn't lie. I told him "No" and to not be upset because there just wasn't a spark for me. He seemed a little bummed (I mean - c'mon, I'm a hot tamale) but then he thanked me for my honesty and said "I'm not mad at you."

Oh you would be if you knew your score in my head.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Fainting Spell

Does anyone have experience training a cat to dial 9-1-1? After the events of this morning I seriously need to look into this option. Seriously. Scared me shitless.

SO, I went back to the doctor on Friday. I was still sick and the coughing and sexy-phlegm was getting ridiculous. He ran a litany of tests and when the results came back, I officially had Strep Throat. Great. I took my prescription to the closest pharmacy and ran to the library while it was filled. Since I knew my entire weekend was shot, I rented every documentary they had on Hawaii. (Obsessed? Who?? ME???)

After changing into PJs and settling in on the couch somewhere around 7pm on Friday, I didn't do a whole lot of moving until this morning, when I got into the shower to get ready for work. I didn't feel 100%, but my cough was mostly gone and my throat hurt a lot less.

Half way through, I become really fatigued. This was the most strenuous thing I had done in days, so I wasn't necessarily surprised. Then came the lightheaded-ness. Weird. The short breath rally began to freak me out. Then the blurred, white-out vision completely took me by surprise. I hung onto one of the rails in the shower and bent/knelt over, trying to catch my breath. It worked for a minute and I stood back up.

Bad Move.

Vision went completely white and there was a THUD. I don't remember falling, but I remembering going "AHHHH" and then being crumpled up in the tub, when I came to I was sweating and shivering at the same time.

What. The. Fuck. Not cool. I was sufficiently freaked out and completely aware that I was all alone and wouldn't have been found for days if I had hit my head... and the only thing I could think of was that episode of Sex And The City where Miranda is freaked out by the thought of dying in her apartment and her cat eating her.

But the good news, not to scare any of you, is that I am feeling better and even though I spent the day "off" I feel more like myself and on the road the recovery.

I promise the Roadside Assistance Guy story is up next! Probably.