Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Flat Tire.... Continued

In case you forgot how I got here... I had a flat tire and while simultaneously changing my tire (no, not a euphemism), the very young looking but still decidedly cute Roadside Assistance guy, Adam, was subtly trying to figure out if I had a boyfriend.

After telling him I didn't have a boyfriend to call for help he asked me why I didn't, then, call my husband because "there is no way some one as cute as you doesn't have a boyfriend or something." Actually, Adam, there IS a way but awww schucks, thanks.

I thought the sentiment was sweet enough, though, and after more flirtatious banter, he asked for my number.

"That is" he said "if I'm old enough."

He looked younger than me, that much I knew and in my head I was pegging him for 22.

"I'm 19."

That's well beyond legal in the state of Kansas.

"How old are you?"

You guys, NEVER have I felt old before. Never, ever... until I said "27." I know that I am NOT old but right then and there, as I was trying to shape up the 19 year old hitting on me, did I feel like I was on AARP's doorstep. HOWEVER, since age is only a number and there weren't any other cute guys changing my tire, I gave him my number. I also figured that his young age gave him less of a chance for being married, having kids or both (a surprising trend I ran into this summer; married men hitting on me). Plus he assured me that he was real mature for a 19 year old.

After parting ways, Matt and Megan's birthday dinner had been missed. I wasn't too disappointed since they where headed to one of those all-you-can-eat Brazilian Meat Buffets, which sounds like the start to a very bad joke... "a vegetarian walks into an all-you-can-eat meat buffet and..." Regardless, I had wanted to celebrate my friends' birthdays with them. (Side story: So, Matt and Megan have THE SAME birthday, which is why they always celebrate it together. Megan often tells people that one of the things the both of them bonded over when they met AGES ago was the fact they shared a birthday. Anyway, last fall at Liz's Going Away party, we were all pretty lit but apparently Megan was ON FIRE because a small group of us were talking about birthdays and Megan turns to Matt and, in complete earnest, asks "When is your birthday???" Obviously we haven't let her live that one down. But I digress....)

So.... yadda yadda yadda... we exchanged numbers, we texted, we chatted and then came date night. He told me to pick the restaurant, so I had him pick between Italian, Mexican or Mediterranean. He picked Italian so I told him to meet me at Cupini's. When we meet up and he cases the place (unfortunately they are closed on Mondays and I didn't realize it! My bad...) he says "Oh, I didn't know this was a whole in the wall place, I was expecting something like The Olive Garden."

"Uh." I didn't know how to respond. After doing the quick calculation of subtracting 23,987 points from his "Cool Account" I told him I try to support the local economy by eating at family owned restaurants.

I told him we'd go for Mexican instead so we headed to Rudy's which was 2 blocks away. I didn't tell him that it wasn't On The Border.

Adam... poor sweet.....young... Adam spent dinner talking about UFC Fighting (Minus 5,000 point) and the Twilight books (minus 1 BILLION points). Yup. Twilight. I was polite enough and didn't ralph all over him when he wouldn't shut up about them, but I eventually had to let him know that NEITHER were my cup of tea. To that he responded "Oh, that's ok. I'll get you to like them."

How quaint.

When the check came and I offered to chip in, he refused and then said, after glancing at the total "especially since you're a cheap date." (I had stopped keeping track of points a LOOOONG time before this).

I knew it wasn't all his fault, a lot had to do with his inexperience (and the fact that he was 19) and I'm not completely heartless, so when he asked if there'd be a second date - I couldn't lie. I told him "No" and to not be upset because there just wasn't a spark for me. He seemed a little bummed (I mean - c'mon, I'm a hot tamale) but then he thanked me for my honesty and said "I'm not mad at you."

Oh you would be if you knew your score in my head.


MerciBlahBlah said...

You are fucking awesome.

I supah dupah giant puffy heart you.


Bill Wabbit said...

Most awesome date story in quite some time...

Megan Channell said...

damn you women...i say, damn you...we'll see who gets invited to MY birthday party next year! ;)

Stevester said...

you never know, the first "date" me and Sami had she bailed me out of jail and then bought me dinner before I put out, and we built that into a 13 year relationship... but Twilight is gay. And come to think of it so is UFC... are you sure this guy wasn't listening to Jitterbug by Wham in his car?