Friday, January 25, 2008

Iran So Far Away

I received an interesting proposition this morning from my cousin, Ali; "Come to Iran with me for a couple of months. I leave at the end of February!"

What strikes me as interesting is that I am actually considering going! Now granted, I'd have to go-go-speed-racer to get everything in order in such short notice, but, honestly why should I NOT I go? Political unrest? Language barriers? Sacrificing certain rights and liberties?

All of those reasons fall short to the one reason why I must go: I would be adored! I have aunts & uncles & cousins & great aunts and uncles & 2nd and 3rd cousins that I've never met (Shoot, I don't even know all their names!) and they want to me meet! And why not, I am the lovable daughter of the Matriarch's first born son. This is the closest I am ever going to get to living out a real life fairy tale. Granted, this fairy tell involves wearing a head dress out in public and walking at least 10 feet behind the men... but still, I've heard rumors that they will make me fresh squeezed orange juice every morning! Fresh squeezed! And I am fairly confident that their joke of having an arranged marriage in place for me is just that... a joke. I think.

Reason number "Doe" (That's "2" to all you non-Farsi speakers) is I would be there for the New Years, which falls on the spring equinox. This won't impress you until I tell you that their "New Years celebration" last 13 days. That's right, 13 days of parties, food, drinking, dancing and, oh yeah, PRESENTS! That is 13 more days of presents than the American New Years. Though, sadly, no Dick Clark Balls.

Now if I still haven't made a case for why I should ditch the States for a month or so, let me tell you this: Iranians women go to great lengths to looks American. They "reverse-tan" to make their skin lighter. I'm not sure what this involves - just like I have no clue how "Breast Implant" surgery works; obviously I need neither. I'm just saying....

So, in summation we got:

1. Adoration/Fresh Squeezed Orange Juice
2. 13 Days of presents
3. Pale skin is in!

I'm going to sleep on it and maybe watch "Not Without My Daughter" a couple of times.



Liz said...

I'm jealous and I want to go too... and, yeah, why not go? How much would the tickets be and would you just quit your job?? Its an exciting possibility to say the least.

amy * stem * said...

GO! Yeah, what about your job? Good question.

Studio P Photography said...

Maybe you could just go for the 13 days of parties & still keep the job?! Sounds like so much fun! (arranged marriage aside)

Stevester said...

Can I come? I fit nicely into overhead storage bins and can do a great Borat impression, so I should fit in nicely - "Very nice, how much?" Question though - 1, how many brown bears are you gonna find n Iran? And 2, If the ladies are walking behind me, how am I supposed to stare at their assholes and cop the fieldings? Jinqui!