Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Words Are Hard

Words are hard. Sometimes it's not our fault because the word we're looking for doesn't exist. When that happens you're left feeling a sense that no one understands you and the message you're trying to convey gets lost in the abyss of white noise... never to be heard, never to be understood.

To combat that, here are some words I (with the help of friends) have created. At least I think we created. If they exist already I don't want to know. Ignorance is bliss. I made that up too. 

an-shit-i-pa-tion [an-shit-i-pey-shun]
The feeling of a sudden, urgent, bowel movement one gets when anxious, excited, waiting for something important, or in line without someone to hold your place for you. Always in public, this feeling can strike without warning. Usually, but not always, accompanied by the sweats.

Natasha had a visceral reaction to the bargains at Maj-R thrift and was struck with anshitipations, leaving Sabrina in the dressing rooms.

de-pre-cious [dih-presh-uh s]
Being in a state of melancholy while simultaneously being adorable. Cute coinciding with gloom, dejection or sadness.

Sammy Davis Jr's meows for more food are deprecious.

me-gan-eese [meh-gun-ees]
Talking nonsensical, juxtaposing letters or even whole words in sentences. Abusing and potentially misusing synonyms. Not a symptom of drinking, however, imbibing can compound the issue. Named for Megan and her mouth.

"Wahoo, I got a dancy frink from the hamburger!" "Go home Megan, you're drunk." "But home good are sleepy is tuch mime." 

dork-es-tra [dawrk-es-strah]
A group of musicians that routinely play and perform together and would rather practice, practice, practice than have a social life.

"Natasha, do you want to go out tonight?" "No, I have dorkestra practice."  

an-ni-hil-plate [uh-nayh-uh-pleyt]
To eat your food quickly, to utterly destroy your meal. To reek havoc on meal time. See: Hangry.

Hungry, Jon annihiplated the spaghetti in 3 seconds flat.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Your funny Natasha