Thursday, April 30, 2009

POP QUIZ HOT SHOT.

Someone tell me how I am suppose to answer this question.

Your Relationship Status is:

( ) Single
( ) Divorced
( ) Separated
( ) Widowed

I'm gonna employ the old "process of elimination" trick I used back in college.

Let's see: Widowed. Technically, I know that I am not. I don't have a husband that is dead. I have an EX-husband and I am blissfully unaware of whether or not he's still alive and kicking or if the poor schmuck is pushing daisies. Regardless, we can cross Widowed off the list. For now.

Next: Separated. Not anymore. I graduated from Separated to......

DIVORCED!

But at the same exact time, at the same exact moment - I am SINGLE.

So, what is the answer?

I am most displeased when I fill in the divorce bubble. Am I legally bound to fill in this bubble for the rest of my life? There has to be some sort of statue of limitations set on how long one has to be "DIVORCED" and not just plain 'ol single. Just like a credit account that slipped into delinquency, can't my marriage AND divorce simply "fall off" my credit report after a certain amount of time? My ex-husband and I do not have any children together, we have no legal ties to one another. For Fuck's sake, I find myself forgetting that the whole unpleasant experience happened in the first place.

Sometime this mid July will mark the moment in time where I have been divorced longer than I had been married. Readers that have paid attention will know this will be just a few days more than 2 years. TWO YEARS (and 10 days... but who is counting?)!

A marriage that lasted (and "lasted" implies it ever took off the ground in the first place, something that it did not) less than 2 years and was experienced by two individuals under the age of 25 should be treated similarly to when a juvenile commits a crime. Reprimand them, make them aware of the error of their ways, seek rehabilitation and have their record sealed so that their adult existence isn't tainted from this past transgression of their youth (and hope they don't become repeat offenders).

Ultimately, I suppose, I am upset by the way the word make me feel and the stigmas and connotations that I feel surround that word, that label, that status.

I guess that means that starting today I am taking back my Single-dom. Yes, I was married and it ended in divorced. Bu I AM not DIVORCED. I am single, unattached and without obligation to anyone. Anyone know any hotties looking for a date this weekend?

2 comments:

GucciLittlePiggy said...

I feel the same way about those stupid bubbles. I always put single - because I feel far more single than I do divorced. Much like I mark "white, not hispanic" because I feel more white than black.

Stevester said...

I am not sure about "hot" but have you seen my Cinco de Mayo post? Sure he may not be much to look at but *Glrgbflghmmm*.... ugh, sorry I couldn't finish that without hurling... Do not look at yesterday's post. I usually mark "married" and "divorced" just to shake things up. I also mark myself as asian and try to use a german accent if they call, which if you have ever heard me use ANY accent sounds Australian, which I guess makes me pretty worldly. SHould I grow a mustache and wear a safari hat?

BTW my verification word is "enslap", which sounds just about right for someone like me.