Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Play by Uneventful Play

The verdict is in; the "Fresca" menu at Taco Bell isn't bad! Thank you Taco Bell for giving us dieters options in this Fast Food Nation. Though, if there is a way for you to make your cheesy, crunchy, double stuffed, supreme chalupa under 5gs of fat and under 150 calories, I'll owe you one.

Liz, in an attempt to take my life, tried to drive off when I wasn't in the car all the way. She says she's "Sorry" and that "She didn't mean to" but I see through her phony apologies. I know I bought the last pair of those cute tennis shoes at Target in your size, but, damn, I said you could borrow them!

Damn. Maybe next year, Tom.

Oh, and then there was the weird "Bike Patrol" cop in line right behind me at the Grocery store. I guess he needed to step out of line, so he asked me to "watch his basket and make sure no one steals anything." Um, OK dude. I'm sure someone is just aching to rummage through your basket to get your unpaid merchandise. I'll guard your 5 bottles of BBQ sauce with my life. Seriously, 5 bottles of BBQ sauce!

I cooked last night. I was being coached and supervised by a trained professional, but I did the majority of cooking all by myself. The onion was my first formidable opponent, and though slippery, I chopped my way to victory.
Natasha - 1; Cooking - 0

However, the onion is a tricky bastard and left "essence of onion" on the cutting board whereas rendering me blind and unable to complete chopping the garlic. Trained Professional had to take over.
Natasha - 1; Cooking - 1

Sautéing proved easy enough: the onion, garlic and "I cannot believe it's not butter" all surrendered to my will (and my medium low heat).
Natasha - 2; Cooking - 1

Adding the veggies (celery, broccoli, carrots, corn, snow peas) was a piece of cake, though with the increased volume of "stuff" in my skillet, I had to adjust my stirring style on the fly! You thought you got me, Cooking, but you're going to have to try harder!
Natasha - 3; Cooking - 1

Since I'm trying to graduate from "Microwaving" to "Cooking" I will not add on any points for successfully steaming the frozen bag of brown rice on HIGH for 3 1/2 to 4 1/2 minutes. But I did.
Natasha - 3; Cooking - 1

Trained Professional opened and drained the can of black beans, because, well, I couldn't figure out her can opener. Natasha - 3; Cooking - 1; Kitchen Utensils - 1

All in all the dinner was really good and I had a great time in the kitchen. Granted, I haven't graduated yet and Trained Professional shouldn't leave me unsupervised in there lest she be charged with negligent care to herself and others. I'm already thinking of what to make for dinner tonight! Probably something without beans because...

Natasha - 3; Cooking - 1; Kitchen Utensils - 1; Black Beans - 100


Liz said...

Hahaha... are the beans getting to you??!? And, I love the "Trained Professional".. I'm "grandma-trained" and I don't know how "professional", but I love it..

Stevester said...

Sweet ass! does Trained Professional offer her services for hire? I am tired of eating only things that need no cooking prowess! In return I can teach her how to kill a man with her bare hands... or something... Brown Bear needs more hibernation, getting cranky.

Liz said...

Hey Stevester.. I'd be happy to offer my "professional services" but since I already know how to kill a man with my bare hands you'll have to barter with something else...

Stevester said...

Hmmmmm.....I can teach you to breakdance, or I can show my genitals to you. That's pretty much all I got, ask Natasha.

Natasha said...

If I made a comment right now about "Seeing your Worm" it could go either way. So I will.

I've seen Steven's worm.

Liz said...

Well, since I haven't seen anyone's genitals but my own in many months it sounds tempting.. well it did until Natasha's worm comment... worms are gross.. did you know they have multiple hearts so if you cut them up they can still live?? wierd..

Stevester said...

Please never again make a comment about cutting my worm up. On a different note, Natasha is either referring to when I was breakdancing at the office or that one time my shorts slid too far down while I was doing situps... either way I think she was unimpressed... :(