Boatin' on Lake 'Boji

I've never been on a speed boat. I was on a pontoon boat a few times as a little kid and I, once, tried a jet ski but refused to go fast and then got lost on the lake trying to find my way back. Marry that experience with my fear and loathing of fish and lakes, and you'd understand why I had to pretend to be excited when Liz wanted to spend the day, Friday - Independence Day, out on the boat. In the middle of the lake, no less. I was perfectly content with staying on dry land, as far away from the lake water and the fish it harbors.

There were 8 of us and after we all climbed in and loaded up the beer, I was a little distraught to find that there were no safety belts. Pulling out of the dock and slowly making our way passed the buoys was exactly what I expected. Then we hit the open water. If I hadn't had gone to the bathroom RIGHT before we left, I'm sure I would have pissed myself. The speed, the wind, the steering of the boat... all were way outside my comfort level. I didn't want to make my general pussiness apparent to the Boji Family, so I decided that I'd handle the situation better if I got my drink on.

Whether it was the beer or just me learning to not be a scardy cat, I relaxed eventually and really enjoyed the afternoon! After a few hours, we met up with about 6 or 7 other Boji Family members (and assorted friends), tied our boats together and just partied in the middle of the lake. I was almost positive that the group wasn't going to head to shore just to let me use the bathroom, so I had to "go swimming" if I wanted any sort of relief.

Let me say this one more time. I EFFING HATE LAKE WATER AND EVERYTHING IN IT. But, alas, I had no choice. Figuring that that the AMOUNT of beer that put me into this situation would actually impair my aim, a Gatorade bottle was out of the question.

So I manned up and climbed into the lake. It took me about 20 twenty minutes to do it since it the water was kinda cold, I was nervous and it was hard to relax when every single muscle in my body was clenched as I was ready to attack anything and everything that came within a 2 feet radius of me. And Liz, you better be sleeping with one eye open! It was NOT cool when you threw that seaweed (lakeweed?) at me. I advised others to stay away from me. For their own safety. Also because they were swimming for the same reason, and I didn't need that.

But I am a champion, I got the job done and was dragged back into the boat. Party on.

Our day on the lake was nothing short of spectacular. Plus, there is nothing quite like being drunk on a boat, getting off the boat, back onto dry land and have it still feel, under you, that you're still on the boat.