Tuesday, July 22, 2008

My Worst Nightmare

I've mentioned it before, I'll mention it again. I HATE FISH. Dear God in Heaven, they are vile creatures. My morning coffee was ruined when this story came on the air.

People are letting the aquatic devil-vermin EAT the dead skin cells off of their feet in order to get a pedicure.

Don't people realize that this is just Phase 1 for the fish? It's starts our simple enough... just use them to clean our feet... a crap job for these carps. Did they fail to connect eating with getting bigger? Soon these pedicure giving Pisces will grow into full blown human-eating machines! And then Phase 2 begins: take over humanity as we know it.

It will start simple, some soccer mom in a nail salon will lose a toe, then, innocently enough, a too-tan teenager will lose a foot right before prom and then before you know it: MASS HYSTERIA as the national guard is called in to control the man eating carp.

But it will be all our fault, you see, for we gave them their taste for human flesh.


Stevester said...

I saw that and instantly involuntarily convulsed. I would literally DIE. I know this sounds funny coming from a 6'2 280 pound black man wit a second degree black belt and tutu ensemble, but Oh....My....GAWD...

No way. None. I would scream like a little schoolgirl the entire time, then shit myself.

Natasha said...

I bet the little bastards would eat that too!