Professional Job Changer

For those who’ve cared to pay attention, I’ve been employed at 3 different companies over the past 13 months. The stress of changing jobs (not to mention, employers) has eclipsed itself and I have now fallen into a routine of change. I have become an expert at signing HR forms and New Employee Handbooks. I can give my two weeks notice in my sleep.

I have become so good at changing jobs that I didn’t have to even look for this latest one; it found me. It fell into my lap like a belated birthday present, all wrapped up with pretty paper and a bow.

Starting Monday I will become a member of the Marketing Department as a Proposal Writer I. Unfortunately, this isn’t a role for writing marriage proposals for guys lazy and/or unoriginal enough to come up with their own on-bended-knee speeches. But how cool would that be? Actually, does anyone know if this is a real job that I could pursue? I would be awesome at that. I mean, I have experienced 2 out of the 3 worst marriage proposals a girl could get, so I have a baseline of what NOT to say.

First there was the guy I said yes to. He didn’t even get down on one knee. And the ring didn’t fit. His speech was so uninspired that I wasn’t quite sure he was proposing until he shoved the ring in front of me and mumbled something about eternal happiness and fulfillment. And even then, I still wasn’t sure if he wanted to get married or if he was asking for my Cheesecake Factory leftovers.

Then there was the guy I said no to, but then again I had only known him for about 3 hours and I was fairly confident that his semi-tipsy proposals weren’t meant to be taken seriously.

And finally, there is the worst way to get proposed to: after getting knocked up the baby’s daddy says “So, I guess we should get married now.”

Let’s keep hope alive that I will NEVER be proposed to that way.