Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Dear Time Warner Cable

Dear Time Warner Cable,

I’m afraid you’ve earned a stern letter similar to the one O’Reilly Auto Part earned themselves this past winter. So, here it goes.

Die in a fire!

You might be asking yourself what you did to earn such web-wide disgrace, which just further illustrates how big of an asshole you are; you’re not even aware of what you did.

Or didn’t do, rather. I played by the rules and scheduled an installation/transfer of service for moving day and you arrived between your scheduled 11am and 2pm. However, you forgot to bring your eyeballs because you FAILED to see the cable line running to the house and informed me you couldn’t install a cable line without my landlord’s permission. After you left, my mom found both the line TO the house AND the plug in the upstairs bedroom. You should be ashamed of yourself because she isn’t the best at finding things; she once consulted my Tarot cards to help find an earring she lost.

Knowing that this is sometimes how things go, I call back on Monday and schedule another service appointment. Again for a Saturday and again for between 11am and 2pm. Brother and new roommate, Daniel, agreed to be there even though he had plans with his friends for the afternoon. You can imagine my surprise when he called me after 2pm to tell me that you guys FAILED to show up and that he had to go.

It was almost a slap in the face when you called later that day, at 4 o’clock, letting me know the technician is on their way and asked if someone would be there to let you in.

“No. It is 4 o’clock and you were supposed to be there between 11 and 2.”

“So, no one is there?”


Once again I found myself talking to one of your, obviously ironically titled, Customer Service Representatives setting up a third appointment. The technician is scheduled to show up (which would be a great first step) and install (if I’m lucky) service tonight.

Don’t fuck this up, Time Warner, or my next letter will start out by thanking you for my free lifetime Cable and Internet service.

Yours only because you’re a monopoly,


1 comment:

Stevester said...

Ugh, I hate Time Warner with a passion usually only reserved for baconnaise. You do remember my 4 month saga to be able to make a telephone call AND get on the internets at the same time.