Thursday, August 6, 2009

I WON!!!!!!

After hours and hours and hours of my life spent on terrible, horrible, no-good dates - my energies have finally yielded fruit! I can proudly claim title of WINNER to the "Reader Contribution: The Worst Thing Said on a Date" contest sponsored by [redacted]. Dan, Brooke & Puppy: I am honored.

Now, on to the tale of the wretched date.

When: Two years ago.
Who: Jared. I think. I'll call him Jared.
Where: The Peanut
Why: He was cute.
Background: Online dating (I know, I know, twice (fourteen times) bitten and all that jazz), his profile had the "has kids?" check box marked and he, during conversation mentions his daughter...

Natasha: So, how old is your daughter?

Jared: Oh. Um. 10. And 6.

N: Oh! 2 kids.

J: Yeah, 2 daughters.

N: That's cool. Blah blah blah...

For about half an hour we talk about his school, our jobs and other meaningless first date topics. He throws out that he's moving soon and is worried about school districts. I tell him the part of town I'd love to buy a house in.

Jared: Yeah, but I'm a single dad with 3 kids. I can't afford that neighborhood.

N: What.

J: Yeah..... I have 3 kids, not 2 like I said earlier.

N: So, when I said "Oh! 2 kids"......... and you said "yeah".........

J: I didn't want to freak you out.

N: But lying is OK?

J: Well, I didn't lie, I said I had 2 daughters. My boy is 8.

N: I gotta go.

The end.

And now, over 2 years later, thanks to Jared-party-of-who-the-fuck-knows-how-many, I am a WINNER!

Also, just as a "I didn't think it could get any worse" sort of twist, I am (and was) fairly confident that he was drunk when I got there. Awesome.

1 comment: said...

Truly fantastic. Can I add it to Reasons Why I Dumped You?