Monday, September 27, 2010

Natasha and The Amazing Technicolor Molar

Right before I lost my job last summer, I went to the dentist. And apparently I brush my teeth with sugar-paste, because I had a few cavities that needed to be taken care of. I had NEVER had one cavity before. I scheduled a follow up visit, but I lost my insurance, so I canceled and wouldn't return until I had coverage once again.

I knew it was risky to ignore the cavities, but I couldn't afford the fillings on my own. I figured lots of Listerine and diligent brushing would stave off further decay. None of the cavities were painful, so I told myself I had some sort of built in "buffer." Until they started hurting, I could ignore them. Totally rational. Then one day I felt something abnormal in my mouth. A quick flick of my tongue - something wasn't right. Part of my back molar had fallen off. Unemployed with teeth breaking off. It was a high point in my life.

But it didn't hurt. So I kept with the obsessive rinsing and brushing with the hope that I'd have dental insurance soon enough. No additional teeth broke off and my mouth wasn't a black hole of decay and rot by the time I landed a gig with a dental plan, so I figured "good job me" and re-scheduled my Dentist appointment.

Since I'm not completely delusional, I braced myself for the worst verdict, and sure enough the doctor said I'd need a crown on that back tooth. About 2 hours and 12 needles later, I left the dentist with a temporary crown on my back molar and a numb and droopy left side of my face. I was tired, in pain and felt like I looked like Anthony Hopkins in "Legends of the Fall" after his stroke. I couldn't stop the drool running down my chin.

Later that evening, after a long nap and pain meds, I made eggplant curry. It was GOOD.

The following day, while washing my hands, again, I notice something abnormal in the back of my mouth. Unlike 3 months prior when I had FELT the abnormality, this time I SAW it. I took a closer look, and sure enough, something was WRONG.

The Turmeric from the curry had turned my temporary crown BRIGHT NEON YELLOW.

I bet you're thinking "yup, that's a bright neon yellow toof" but let me assure you that this picture does not do justice to the radio-active glow that omitted from the back of my mouth.

Thank goodness this was in the back of my mouth. And temporary.


Bill Wabbit said...

I'm trying to think of all the cool colors you COULD have dyed it had you known...

Natasha said...

Sorry Billy Wabbit, if there is a way to enable spell check, I don't know how... I'll love you IRregardless of your typos. :)