Monday, September 27, 2010

Natasha and The Amazing Technicolor Molar

Right before I lost my job last summer, I went to the dentist. And apparently I brush my teeth with sugar-paste, because I had a few cavities that needed to be taken care of. I had NEVER had one cavity before. I scheduled a follow up visit, but I lost my insurance, so I canceled and wouldn't return until I had coverage once again.

I knew it was risky to ignore the cavities, but I couldn't afford the fillings on my own. I figured lots of Listerine and diligent brushing would stave off further decay. None of the cavities were painful, so I told myself I had some sort of built in "buffer." Until they started hurting, I could ignore them. Totally rational. Then one day I felt something abnormal in my mouth. A quick flick of my tongue - something wasn't right. Part of my back molar had fallen off. Unemployed with teeth breaking off. It was a high point in my life.

But it didn't hurt. So I kept with the obsessive rinsing and brushing with the hope that I'd have dental insurance soon enough. No additional teeth broke off and my mouth wasn't a black hole of decay and rot by the time I landed a gig with a dental plan, so I figured "good job me" and re-scheduled my Dentist appointment.

Since I'm not completely delusional, I braced myself for the worst verdict, and sure enough the doctor said I'd need a crown on that back tooth. About 2 hours and 12 needles later, I left the dentist with a temporary crown on my back molar and a numb and droopy left side of my face. I was tired, in pain and felt like I looked like Anthony Hopkins in "Legends of the Fall" after his stroke. I couldn't stop the drool running down my chin.

Later that evening, after a long nap and pain meds, I made eggplant curry. It was GOOD.

The following day, while washing my hands, again, I notice something abnormal in the back of my mouth. Unlike 3 months prior when I had FELT the abnormality, this time I SAW it. I took a closer look, and sure enough, something was WRONG.

The Turmeric from the curry had turned my temporary crown BRIGHT NEON YELLOW.

I bet you're thinking "yup, that's a bright neon yellow toof" but let me assure you that this picture does not do justice to the radio-active glow that omitted from the back of my mouth.

Thank goodness this was in the back of my mouth. And temporary.

2 comments:

Bill Wabbit said...

I'm trying to think of all the cool colors you COULD have dyed it had you known...

Natasha said...

Sorry Billy Wabbit, if there is a way to enable spell check, I don't know how... I'll love you IRregardless of your typos. :)