Monday, October 20, 2008

OOOOOOOOOOOOklahoma: A near beer weekend

Dear Oklahoma,

Thank you for the great weekend, you were an awesome host and my girls and I had a fantastic time. You really went out of your way when you provided perfect weather all weekend. Who would have expected 70s and Sunshine for a mid-October weekend? You even found us the best digs to crash at! If there had actually been time to sleep, I am sure that I would have snoozed on the comfy leather couch you procured me. And the people! The people were great.

Our time with you, dear south-western neighbor of ours, was nothing short of spectacular and, if I may say so myself, rocked.

Except... Oklahoma, I don't understand why you only serve 3.2 beer? I don't want to sound like I am complaining (even though, have no doubt, I am), but, I'm a professional here and 3.2 beer is a waste of my time. The initial thrill of $2 PBRs wore off once I realized that I'd need to have down a few more, which then, isn't cost effective. Lucky for you, someone ordered too many shots... and since I'm of the "waste not, want not" school, I helped them out and drank them. Also - it didn't hurt when Jake bought the entire tray of jell-o shots and told me to "help myself." I know this was our first time meeting, Oklahoma, but I feel like you knew I'd need a bit more than your beer could offer. I'm not sure if you meant for those things to happen or not, but they did and I want to thank you. So, in a way, you had my back if even though you couldn't give me everything that I needed. You're like the silent, suffering housewife that knows of her husbands affair but doesn't say anything because you don't want to lose him. Better to have him and have him cheating on you than not having him with you at all, right?

Oh, Oklahoma, I don't want you to feel that way. I should have told you that I am going to come back even if you will always and forever server 3.2 beer. But now that we both know a little bit more about one other, you can't be mad at me if I buy a huge cooler of beer before I cross the Kansas border, right? And I promise that I won't be upset if you continue to sell beer flavored water. You have so much more to offer, that this really isn't a deal breaker. Kinda like saying you make a mean meatloaf and keep my shirts pressed just the way I like them!

Go Pokes!


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