Monday, October 13, 2008

Tony! Toni! Toné!

What are you doing Tony Gonzalez?!?!?

Number 88, the love of my life, the Tight End with the tightest end... you've asked out. You want to leave. You've looked inside yourself and realize that in addition to holding countless records and having the adoration of an entire metropolitan city, you need a Super Bowl ring to boot.

I understand. I really do. I know a thing or two about accessorizing and empathize with wanting a big, shiny ring! But at what cost, Tony? You realize that this means that it can never work out between us? I love this city and I am not going to bail out on it when the going gets tough.

This hurts more than when Johnny Damon dumped us for the Yankees. Though what REALLY hurts is his impersonation of the Geico Caveman guy, but that is a different story.

No one knows where you're going to end up, and a little part of me hopes that a deal won't come through and that you will stay in this great little city of ours, but the part of me that loves you knows that you deserve better before it is too late. JUST like when Morgan Freeman finally comes to understand and accept why Tim Robbins doesn't belong at Shawshank, I understand that you are too great and too talented to ride out the last of your years with a team that isn't going to even take you into the post season (let's call a spade a spade here Tony, they suck completely and probably won't even break 500).

Oh Tony, how I wish things turned out differently. How I wish The Chiefs had the developed talent, how I wish we had a ... what are they called... that one guy that takes the snap and throws the football? Oh, yeah, a Quaterback!!! How I wish we were able to be the team, the team to write your name in the NFL Championship annals, but we can't, and for that, I am truly heart broken.

UPDATE: The trade deadline has passed, so therefore Tony shall live and play another day.

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