Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Which one of these things are not like the others?

curly hair montage

I'd like to introduce a segment that I'll be bringing you A) Whenever I feel like it or B) Whenever I have material for it. Mostly likely a combination of both. And, it goes without saying, this could very well be the only time it's featured on MHIBTY.

::clears throat::

Is it with boundless joy that I unveil to you...

"You know who you look like?!?!"

Let's agree, for arguments sake, that everyone has been told before that they, in some small measurement, resemble some one else. Whether it be a famous celebrity, an infamous criminal or a Simpson's cartoon characters (I'll get to that one). I'm willing to bet that for the average person, there is a theme... a common occurrence, a consistent comparison that it not only reliable, it is irritating. The name so often followed by "You know who you look like" that the individual could answer it while simultaneously rolling their eyes to give the universal "Way to be original a$$hole" look.

If only.

Every time I hear "You know who you look like?" I am filled with a tension that, and I am only assuming here, would be something similar to the tension felt when playing Russian Roulette. Who are they going to say? Am I going to agree or disagree? Will this be some sort of pseudo-compliment? (Elizabeth Berkly - PRE Showgirls) or the meanest of insults (Sideshow Bob*)?

I will go on record right here and now and declare, in earnest, that I have never, EVER agreed with any celebrity resemblance put forth by anyone.

Having said that, the latest likeness drawn (courtesy of some guy in the Q.A. department) is:

Brittany Murphy. But not just regular Brittany Murphy - Brittany Murphy from Clueless.

WhoTheFvckNow? Really? Really. Brittany Murphy? I have put up with some ricockulous comparisons in my life, but this one takes the cake (mmmmmmcake). The lovely montage above isn't a random amalgam of nappy haired celebrities. I have, seriously, been compared to each and everyone of them.

Not all Asians look alike and neither do all curly headed people! For the love of god people, I do not look a thing like Curly Sue!! She's like, 11!

*Seriously. 10th grade Math. Some douche named Sheldon said I looked like Sideshow Bob. Fucker.

1 comment:

GucciLittlePiggy said...

It's been than being told you look like Julianne Moore, except instead of actually knowing her name they say "The whore from Boogie Nights".