Monday, January 3, 2011

You skinny bitch.

Blissfully unaware of anything afoot, I was confused why my gym's parking lot was near capacity. My super secret back alley parking spot was taken, too. I hesitated only briefly - a prime spot right by the door was open. My ignorance continued.

"Man," I thought "all the elipticals are taken. It is BUSY up in here" when I walked in.

The sheer volume of people in the gym didn't tip me off to it, it was the simple detail that I didn't RECOGNIZE most of them. I know who the familiar faces are and most of the people in the gym tonight were either brand new or finally renewed their month to month membership after a 6-9 month hiatus.

It's New Years Resolutioner season.


Don't get me wrong. I fully appreciate making a commitment to better ones self, but can you please not do it at my gym? All you do is take up parking spaces during the coldest months of the year.

The large majority of the NYRers were just your average joes, but there was one chick, tonight, that was seriously SMOKING HOT. Her body was compact, long and tone. She didn't jiggle when we did ANY of the moves. Not even her tits. Trust me - I was watching. While I on the other hand have everything jiggle when I jog in place. Even my armpits. I am not kidding.

Hot Chick and I chatted it up after class and she eventually confessed that she hadn't been to a gym in 10 years.

I hate you Hot Chick. I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!! You hadn't even broken a fucking sweat and here I am toweling off as we speak. Die in a fire.

Ok - not reeeeeeeeeeallly. I don't actually hate you, but I do believe it's annoying and a smidge on the unfair side.

It all works out in the end, thought, because my hair is better than yours.
You skinny bitch.

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