Thursday, January 29, 2009

49 Reasons to Lose the Last 49* Pounds

1. My total weight loss will be more than 50% of my former body weight
2. The strapless maroon velvet dress in my closet
3. Spring
4. … & Summer
5. To run more efficiently
6. To not jiggle when I laugh
7. Clothes, clothes, clothes
8. To see a definite KNEE and ANKLE again
9. I know I have a waist buried underneath all of this…..
10. To inspire others
11. Save on soap & lotion (less surface area)
12. New shoes for all the new clothes!
13. Save on gas
14. Won’t run the risk of being FUPA hunted
15. Boys! Boys! Boys!
16. To be in a Nutri-System commercial
17. Never to wonder if “that smell” is a fat roll I didn’t wash well enough
18. To stop being asked if I’d “like some fries with that shake”
19. Hopefully, to put an end to the chaffing
20. So not a single NFL players weighs less than I do
21. To be really fucking hot
22. A skinny girl farting is much cuter than a fat girl farting
23. So, even though you’ll be sad to see me go, you’ll love to watch me leave
24. Tank Tops
25. Shorts
26. Dresses
27. Skirts
28. Jeans
29. Bikinis
30. Lingerie…
31. …….Or nothing at all……
32. Matt
33. Andrew
34. Scott
35. Richard ::sigh::
36. B.G. the Swedish guy in yoga
37. Baseball Players
38. David’s wedding
39. One chin is enough
40. To not eclipse the sun when I bend over
41. To not get “those looks” when I step onto an almost full elevator
42. To finally meet my belly button
43. Payback
44. To break hearts
45. To take a picture of me standing in one leg of my old jeans
46. To go on Oprah!
47. To not worry if my fat is showing
48. To throw away every pair of Spanx I own
49. And, because, dammit, I’m worth it

*this list started out as “the last 50 pounds……” but I’ve been procrastinating so long that it is now down to 49. Holla! Oh, and I apologize for running out of creative juice somewhere around # 23 or #24…..

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