Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Rind a Ding

The rings I wore today hail from Iran.

This reminded me of a story. Once upon a time (I was about 12 or 13) I was given a different ring. It was a simple gold band that had a small emerald. A perfect gift befitting a young Iranian Princess from some second or third cousin. Well, almost perfect. The band was a smidge too small for all of my fingers and would only, loosely, fit on my pinkie. I sported that precious stone just like mob boss would. My sister had a similar ring, a different color of stone I believe, and hers daintily displayed on her delicate hand.

One Spring weekend my family, along with friends and family, went on a picnic at a local park. All the other families were Iranian and I wanted to wear my fancy pants ring and show off my wears. PINKIES UP.

"NehGaw Anghostareh Man!" I said! Look at my Ring! (Ok, I didn't actually say it in Farsi at the time, but I am trying to learn to speak the language and I just realized I knew all the words and could fit it into the story...) Everyone looked, everyone ahhhed and then everyone went about their business of having fun on the picnic. Exactly how I expected them to react.

Later in the day, after eating, drinking, playing, eating, running around, eating, drinking and eating some more I have to go the the bathroom. The only facilities near by are outhouses. The most vile or vile, but better than wetting yourself. I took a deep breath and walked into the dark stank stall.

I was done with my business and grabbing the TP. With the paper in my hand, I begin the motion of wiping. Immediately following that fateful motion I heard a dim "clink" and a soggy "thud." Horrified at the thought of what could have possible just occurred I keep my hand where it is. I wiggle my pinkie. It's empty.

I pull my hand out and verify with my own eyes. Sure enough, there is NO ring on my finger. A pulse of loss and sadness go through me and only briefly do I entertain the idea of attempting to retrieve it. My Pretty Pretty Pudgy Persian Princess ring was lost to the shitter or Shawnee Mission Park.


Theoismycat said...

Ha ha ha!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I want those rings.. or similar ones would work just fine, so the next time a relative is coming from or going to Iran could you put in an order for me? Thanks!