Rind a Ding

The rings I wore today hail from Iran.

This reminded me of a story. Once upon a time (I was about 12 or 13) I was given a different ring. It was a simple gold band that had a small emerald. A perfect gift befitting a young Iranian Princess from some second or third cousin. Well, almost perfect. The band was a smidge too small for all of my fingers and would only, loosely, fit on my pinkie. I sported that precious stone just like mob boss would. My sister had a similar ring, a different color of stone I believe, and hers daintily displayed on her delicate hand.

One Spring weekend my family, along with friends and family, went on a picnic at a local park. All the other families were Iranian and I wanted to wear my fancy pants ring and show off my wears. PINKIES UP.

"NehGaw Anghostareh Man!" I said! Look at my Ring! (Ok, I didn't actually say it in Farsi at the time, but I am trying to learn to speak the language and I just realized I knew all the words and could fit it into the story...) Everyone looked, everyone ahhhed and then everyone went about their business of having fun on the picnic. Exactly how I expected them to react.

Later in the day, after eating, drinking, playing, eating, running around, eating, drinking and eating some more I have to go the the bathroom. The only facilities near by are outhouses. The most vile or vile, but better than wetting yourself. I took a deep breath and walked into the dark stank stall.

I was done with my business and grabbing the TP. With the paper in my hand, I begin the motion of wiping. Immediately following that fateful motion I heard a dim "clink" and a soggy "thud." Horrified at the thought of what could have possible just occurred I keep my hand where it is. I wiggle my pinkie. It's empty.

I pull my hand out and verify with my own eyes. Sure enough, there is NO ring on my finger. A pulse of loss and sadness go through me and only briefly do I entertain the idea of attempting to retrieve it. My Pretty Pretty Pudgy Persian Princess ring was lost to the shitter or Shawnee Mission Park.