Monday, April 25, 2011

Grandma ran over the Reindeer

My grandmother Alice (Sammy's mom) had a motorized wheelchair.

Fortunately she is capable of being mobile without the Rascal. For a while she used it as her main mode of transportation, after her drivers license was taken away, mainly to visit her husband in the Nursing Home. My mom asked and pleaded with her not to, but Grandma is stubborn like that. Mom's only choice was to get a couple of brightly colored flags and a sign that read "Wide Load" to attach to the chair.

Now that Grandma is with Nelson in the nursing home, she no longer needs to trek a few miles on back roads to see him. We thought that the Scooter Saga was over.

I learned this weekend that the chair had been taken away from her by the Nursing Home staff and she won't get it back until she's successfully completed an "Appropriate Behavior" course, learning what is and isn't acceptable to do with the Hoover-Round.

I'm just speculating here, but based on what I know about my Grandma this is what I think the course would look like:

8AM
Keeping all 4 wheels on the ground: A guide to basic motorized chair etiquette.

10AM
Break for the Price is Right

11AM
The Hallway is not a Race Track

Lunch

1PM
How to Avoid Crushing Others' Feet and Toes

3PM
WE KNOW YOU SAW HER! DO NOT RUN OVER THE NURSE!!!

I'm certain that she'll get her chair back but it will only be a matter of time before it's confiscated again and she has to go through the advanced course OR they remove the standard battery and replace it with a a dozen AA batteries so that her top speed is somewhere between "snail" and "turtle" giving her would-be victims ample time to move or get out of the way.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your grandmother is my second favorite hero...second only to the infamous honey badger. That's seriously high praise, ya know.
D.R.

Theoismycat said...

Do not run over the nurse! That reminds me of my grandma. She had a concussion, and, while in rehabilitation, she used a wheelchair. Everyone assumed that we'd have to push her around so that we can get from the lobby to her room in under an hour, but she was faster than us in that demon!

Natasha said...

Grandma still is sans rascal. I'll update if she graduates the "play nice with others" class.