Thursday, December 11, 2008

uniform toilet height

I am a creature of habit. I believe that the bathroom is one of the most important places where one should never deviate from any sort of routine or "givens." I've written before of my many bathroom follies and I suppose that we'll just continue adding to the archives.

I had to visit another floor's bathroom today. The cleaning lady had put her yellow flag up which meant that she either was busy cleaning the toilets or wanted to take a shit in peace. Either way, I had to find another bathroom.

I went to my back-up bathroom and when I saw that "my" stall was taken, I had to call an audible and go to a stall I've never been to before. Imagine my surprise when I went to pop and squat and found out (the surprising way) that this particular toilet is a good 3 or 4 inches SHORTER than any other toilet I have sat on in this building.

I did that "surprised to find myself falling" grab on the stall walls to try to catch myself. However, seeing how there was nothing to catch on to, I just continued falling until my ass landed on the seat.

This has me all sorts of perplexed. I really need to know the thought process behind the decision to use different height toilets in the same building (and no, before you ask, this wasn't the handi-crapper stall). I mean, was this a conscience decision by the builder or an oversight?

Or maybe the builder started out with enough toilets of the same height and then during some sort of accident that can, I'm sure, only be described as a comedy of errors, a few broke and new ones had to be re-ordered.... thus resulting in a mix-matched lot of toilets in the buildings.

I need to know! I also need to know which toilets are which height so that I won't be caught off guard again. Do you think my boss would let me do a toilet height survey tomorrow?


Bill Wabbit said...

If it helps, in many parts of Asia the toilets are level w/ the floor, you literally pop a wouldn't THAT be a surprise.

Also, the word verification today was "niplum"...disturbing anyone?

Natasha said...

Um, Billy Wabbit - you forget you're talking to a terroist. You know - the land of the giant Litter Box? My people know all about LITERALLY popping a squat.

Stevester said...

I think some serious toilet shopping is in order. Let me train you, padawan, in the ways of the force. And if your boss won't let you spend 2-4 hours doing a toilet survey, then you should quit. I would.

My word verification is stsoapi, I said aloud to the computer that this is my natural color, it won't wash off, though I've tried so hard! *sniff*

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Bill Wabbit said...

Did you hear I get to go visit your ancestor's neighbors Derka?